Scary Moment with my 5 week old

Cooper's been incredibly easy thus far, so I forgive him for scaring me to death this morning at 5am. Cooper was asleep in his swing and I was 2 feet from him on the couch. I had just roused to check on him and then fell back asleep. I hear him scream out once and it wasn't his normal cry at all. Then he does it again. I shoot up from the couch and grab him. He's choking and can't catch his breath. I hear him gasping for breath and start pounding on his back. It takes a good 5 seconds, but he recovers. I have a dr. appointment scheduled for this afternoon. I never want to experience that again! I hope it's nothing serious, and I'm sure it's not, but I don't like that he's been choking from time to time when he's eating and what happened this morning was the kicker.

Poems

Here are two poems- one I wrote when Dade was a baby the other I wrote when Leia was a baby. Guess I need one for Cooper too.

Dade and Ben's poem:

-Once upon a midnight's dream and I'm lost, "Lost in a Forest" like Robert Smith in the early days. To me, the dream was so much a reality. A time of chaos, no structure. A time of sorrow, no peace.

-To wake up today in the arms of love, surrounded by lime green and light blue with steel gray happy eyes was something I thought I'd never deserve.

- Two "he's" in my little land of void have completed my so called existence. With each smile I forget another piece of my regretted past. With each little sound, and each little attempt at the word "Ma Ma" and always hearing the reassuring phrase "I love you", I'm becoming more and more ME.

Leia's poem:

Pretty pink person tied up with a bow.

Playful smile, curious eyes, so full of wonder, so full of life.

Precious innocence with purple and white socks, beautiful baby, baby of mine.

Leia my girl, my wonderful daughter, we will conquer the world together.

Cherish our time, little fingers and toes, tiny lips, tiny nose.

Baby oh baby I can't believe you're mine. Beautiful baby in a pretty pink bow.

Discombobolated....

Transition to 3 was super easier. Easier than I expected. So why do I feel so confused at times. Almost like I'm wondering "okay, what's next?" It's been different for me to make sure the kids are "entertained" during the day (as Dade puts it) because I'm so use to working and not actually being here with my kids. Isn't that sad?! It's a learning experience for all of us. There are things I want to take advantage of too, seeing as I have all this time, but it's hard to juggle all of it. I can not wait until Cooper is 6 months old. Dade will be 5, Leia 2 then and I'm sure we'll have a nice routine going then. And I won't feel so....weird. I can't put my finger on it. I don't want to say I feel empty because I'm full of love. I just feel odd. There's the word.

Cooper's been eating like 5 to 6 ozs. every 3 hours these days. It seems like a lot, but he's not spitting up and screams if I only give him 4 ozs. I don't remember the other two eating this much. Obviously he has a different metabolism. It's crazy! He's starting to also gaze at me more as I'm feeding him and will occasionaly turn his head to look at me. The booger isn't even a month old yet!! He's been so much fun.

Leia is at a fun age too. She's talking more and more. Her newest phrase is "Big Boy." That's what I always say to Cooper and she says it just like I do. Enough to melt my heart! She also still throws some pretty "fun" sceaming fits. But we're working on that.

Dade is Dade. Super smart and super cool. He's developing a bit of and attitude and seems to be bored ALL the time. This too we're working on. We're all going to survive this if it kills us! LOL

Billy Bob Thorton is a turd!

Ben and I watched Man on the Moon last night- the movie about Andy Kaufman. Seems like every time I see that movie I become obsessed with Andy and Google him for hours, watching videos, etc. In his time he was a comedic genius with the pranks he pulled- hell no one knows if he faked his own death or not, he was THAT persuasive. Anyway, the man had a talent and was one of a kind. Today on my YouTube journey into Andy's world, I came across a video of Billy Bob Thorton doing a radio interview with his band on a Canadian station. The dude is clearly either on something, is playing a bad prank or has turned into uber super asshole. It made me stop and think about celebrities these days. These idiots get paid massive amounts of money to promote themselves- their art and turn around just to act like total idiots. Don't they realize they would be NOTHING without their fans, the radio, the television, whatever else it is that builds them?! And then you had Andy who did not want to get rich, was doing it for ART and for nothing else, not even himself. He was one of a kind and it's sad we're stuck with the Billy Bob's and Joaquin Phoenix's' of today.

Andy would be so disappointed- unless of course Billy Bob is just channeling his inner Kaufman. Fat chance.

Current cute pictures of my kids



Dade- 4.5ish
Leia- 17 months
Cooper- 2 weeks old

What to do?

My To Do List:

• Leave work on maternity leave: done
• Have Cooper: done
• Establish some sort of a routine with the kids: done
• Get Leia to stop her screaming fits: in progress
• Make Dade understand this is only temporary and that no we can't leave the house ALL the time because Mommy can't lug 2 babies and a stroller around everywhere by herself just yet: in progress
• Not feel guilty that I can't do the above: won't happen
• Figure out a way to keep them entertained here at home: in progress
• Keep myself from going crazy: WHAT HUH?
  
• Try and keep the yelling to a minimum: isn't that what Mommy's are for?!
• Take a shower daily: HAHAHAHAHA
• Get up off my ass and get some work done: in progress

What did I get myself into!?

Cooper baby

I just found this photo and needed to publish it. Cooper was only a few days old here (not that he's much older now) and was obviously unhappy. I wanted to post this because it is pretty rare that my sweet boy is unhappy. He's such a good natured guy. We're super lucky!

Here piggy piggy

I think this whole swine flu thing is making me crazy. I intentionally don't read or watch coverage on this so I can stay blissfully out of the loop. I know very little but even then, I see it everywhere. I am so sick of the US media blowing things like this out of porportion. The bird flu was the next big thing and it came and went. I remember the Haunta virus here in NM years ago, that came and went. That was scary because it was carried by mosquitos. Haven't heard about that in years. Now we have a new virus (a flu with mild symptoms) and the world is going ape shit. I don't understand the need to whip people into a frenzy especially when there isn't much we know about it. I googled a list of symptoms and could not find one article relating to that. If it were truly such a terrible threat, you think they would have a website dedicated to symptoms and treatments. If there is one, it isn't easy to find. I can understand this is a threat and that it is something to think about, but having people on edge and in a contant state of worry is just not right. Most US cases have been mild and treated with over the counter drugs. How many people die of the regular flu each year. How is this so different? Because there isn't a vaccine as of yet? I'm sure once there is one it will have come and gone. In a few months we'll look back on this and wonder what ever happened to the swine flu? ! Just another reason why college kids shouldn't go to Mexico on Spring Break. Let that be a lesson! HAHA

How to juggle 3 kids and still play World of Warcraft!

You don't! HA.

Anyone who knows me, knows I like to "escape reality" by playing WoW. Ben and I play when the kids are sleeping. I've had some major WoW withdraw these days. The upside is- I've gotten more done around the house, Ben and I have spent other time together and have grown closer AND I don't spend as much in game gold. LMAO

So I'm rambling, but today is mellow so far and I don't really have anything to whine, complain, or brag about.

10 days down

I started this blog in order to keep friends and family up to date on my life as a Mom of 3 kids. And for prosperity sake as well. I'm sure I'd love to read back on this in a few months/years to see just how I coped with certain situations. And to laugh at myself and the stress I'm sure will be self inflicted.

10 days ago today I had my third child Samuel Cooper Girven. We call him Cooper. The name fits him well. We also like to call him "Coop." He is the mellow third baby. Cries only when he's getting changed and when he's hungry. He sleeps well and doesn't need much other than attention and food. This is good because I also have a 4 year old smarty pants going on 13 year old son and a 17 month old Pterodactyl. Why Pterodactyl? Because her screech can pierce human ears and terrify anyone.

These 10 days have been interesting to say the least. Ben had to go back to work the day after we brought Cooper home, so I was pretty much thrown into the whole 3 kid thing immediately. I've had some rough days and I'm sure the kids have too. Dade is use to being around kids all day and is bored out of this mind. He's also learning the hard way that we don't always get what we want when we want. Leia is learning how to play the system and is also learning she's no longer the baby. It's been bitter sweet as we had a nice routine going on and now there is chaos. I'm enjoying having my 3 healthy beautiful kiddo's but this is only day 10 and it's still a little new to me and I'm still healing phsically and emotionally. Let's see how the next month goes.